Dear Ever-Growing Army Of Pre-Dead Minions:
We know you’re all highly motivated donors supporting our various causes. Huzzah! Joy unbounded ensues!
But where’s the free stuff?
(2) We’re still waiting for our ZOG Paycheque.
(3) We get lots of visits, and be #19 on Jago’s list-thingy. W00t!
(4) Thus, throw The Binks a bone, and buy a book or DVD or whatnot from the Binks Amazon.com wishlist once in a while. The last swag was in the Spring, people. A whole Season ago!
(5) The is no 5th thing.
For only the price of two really fancy cups of designer-coffee with artsy swirly pictures on them, you too can know the body-wrenching waves of ecstasy that may ensue from joining the ranks of the few, the kindly, the Binks Swaggers!
Mortgages? Pah! Gas-prices? Feh! Elections? Yawn! You’re made of sterner and more generous stuff! The Binks needs swag! Join the sweetened swag-bailout NOW, and help create and then beat the rush you started! Don’t just give till it hurts.. give until you lose all sensation, and the hurt stops!
I’m The Binks, and I approve this message. Seriously– you have no idea just how monkey-crazy really, really much I approve it. Brought to you by the shamelessly lame SwagForBInks Committee of the Binks Campaign For Swag. 2008, GmBh, foo foo magoo.