Address To The Toothache

‎~ TOOTH OF EVIL UPDATE, (Rabbi Burns poem below thanks to pre-dead minion Scott Geiger)… The Binks asks prayers now for healing, and for relief of inflamed lymph nodes in my jaw, neck, ear, and elsewhere. Wow.

The following is hardly an exaggeration, though minus modern dentistry & antibiotics as below, I can scarce imagine…

Address To The Toothache

My curse upon your venom’d stang,
That shoots my tortur’d gums alang,
An’ thro’ my lug gies mony a twang,
Wi’ gnawing vengeance,
Tearing my nerves wi’ bitter pang,
Like racking engines!

When fevers burn, or argues freezes,
Rheumatics gnaw, or colics squeezes,
Our neibor’s sympathy can ease us,
Wi’ pitying moan;
But thee-thou hell o’ a’ diseases-
Aye mocks our groan.

Adown my beard the slavers trickle
I throw the wee stools o’er the mickle,
While round the fire the giglets keckle,
To see me loup,
While, raving mad, I wish a heckle
Were in their doup!

In a’ the numerous human dools,
Ill hairsts, daft bargains, cutty stools,
Or worthy frien’s rak’d i’ the mools, –
Sad sight to see!
The tricks o’ knaves, or fash o’fools,
Thou bear’st the gree!

Where’er that place be priests ca’ hell,
Where a’ the tones o’ misery yell,
An’ ranked plagues their numbers tell,
In dreadfu’ raw,
Thou, Toothache, surely bear’st the bell,
Amang them a’!

O thou grim, mischief-making chiel,
That gars the notes o’ discord squeel,
Till daft mankind aft dance a reel
In gore, a shoe-thick,
Gie a’ the faes o’ Scotland’s weal
A townmond’s toothache!

~ Robert Burns (While Rome Fiddles?)

3 thoughts on “Address To The Toothache

  1. Hope you heal in Godspeed, What you are enduring sounds absolutely horrific , and I have had abscessed teeth and infections in my mouth and ears and can truly say- after having endured 4th, 3rd and 2nd degree burns over almost 50% of my body …that , and ear canal pain was almost as bad.
    You are in my prayers,

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