And Now, This Breaking Story….


~ (LONDON) AN OXFORD academic researcher digging deep into the archived papers of alleged author and teacher J.R.R. Tolkien has discovered what could be one of the most shocking literary frauds of the 20th century. Ph.D Candidate Giovanni DelSarto claims that Tolkien stole the entire idea of Middle Earth from Walt Disney.

Disney Tolkien

Originally, Tolkien’s ‘Gimli the Dwarf’ was to be played by an amalgam of ‘Dopey’ and ‘Grumpy’ from Snow White. Of course, Mickey Mouse had the Frodo role, and his nephews Morty & Ferdy were the other ‘little people’ of the Ring-Quest, along with Pluto the dog. ‘Aragorn’ was to have been none other than that beloved character Goofy; Peter Pan was lost behind ‘Legolas’; ‘Gandalf’ would have been performed by Pinnochio, or possibly an early cartoon studio-version of the one-eyed Mike Wizowski from ‘Monsters Inc.’. Winnie The Pooh was ditched by Tolkien in favour of ‘Boromir’, and so the revisionism and plagiarism went on and on. Thus it was the world was deprived of a musical-filled ‘Walt Disney’s Lord Of The Rings: An Animated Fun Time’, replete with dancing orcs.


One Disney executive spoke with us on condition of anonymity. “Tolkien cooked up this image of the cuddly old Oxford prof, smoking a pipe and drinking strange beer and toddling about the garden. No way. He was a hard man, stone cold, the head of the Oxford Mafia. He had a group of fixers he called ‘The Elves’. I’m not allowed to name names, but Disney lost a lot of good people in the Tolkien wars: Walt himself was captured and tortured three times with small kitchen appliances. JRR? An horrible, horrible man. That Peter Jackson has been part of the cover-up, too.”

Tolkien’s literary heir and reputed consigliare “Bloody Pen” Christopher could not be reached for comment.

– 30 –


Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.


  • Richardson McPhil  On February 6, 2014 at 2:37 pm

    tragic. History sucks. He always changed theTauriel from a carefree young woman, strong in her pelvisity, and not ashamed to show it, to a chaste ‘Diana’ type character.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Chris Navin

Classical Liberal...Conservatarian...Libertarian...Constitutionalist? What Is This Thing? Where Is It Headed?

Mundabor's Blog

Tradidi quod et accepi: Catholicism without Compromise

Scott Silverii, PhD

Using Minds, Not Force

The Matt Walsh Blog

Absolute Truths (and alpaca grooming tips) **

The Woman and the Dragon

Taking aim at feminism in the Church and family.

Joffre The Giant

Excursions in Christian virility.

Haley's Halo

Giving the manosphere a friendly Christian sidehug since 2010


Thoughts from a happily married father on a post feminist world.

Blogging for a free world

Those Who Sacrifice Liberty For Security Deserve Neither (Benjamin Franklin)

The Prophet Of Wrath

The writings of Sidney Allen Johnson


Christianity & Bike Travel


Just another site

Catherine Wheels

Just another weblog

Tea and Politics

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored (A. Huxley)

The WebElf Report

We Started It is the best place for your personal blog or business site.

Free Canuckistan!

.. "They'll Have To Kill Us All!" ~ Mark Steyn


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 814 other followers

%d bloggers like this: