Death By A Thousand Deaths


>> Telegraph: Liberal identity politics has ruined Star Wars for the fanboys; and also Star Wars Fans Seem To Hate The Last Jedi And SJW’s Couldn’t Be Happier About It

>> J.J. Abrams says Star Wars: The Last Jedi trolls are ‘threatened by women’; yeah, that’ll go over well, Jar Jar

>> Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) – Rotten Tomatoes — Only 48% of fans actually liked it

>> All the ways ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ disappointed me

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~ JUST TO BE CLEAR— Nope. Nope nope. NOPE.

I’m an original Star Wars kid. Saw the first one 14 times that Summer of ‘77. Spent a couple thou on merch over the years, helping make the Dark Lord George rich. Those first three movies were big pivotal events. Cultural moments. Good versus evil, heroes vs. villains, big over-simplified sloppy-science nerdy space-opera.

Darth George The Hutt.. wanna buy a toy, kid?

Then, George got mad about the success of Titanic, and James Cameron. Enter the prequels. Meh, take the kids, maybe there’s something.. oh. What’s that smell? Little Rebel filmmaker George had morphed into Darth Jabba, bully billionaire toy-seller with a side-order of movie-making.

I Gotta Bad Feeling About This

Hey Fanyboyz.. get butthurt! Girl POWER!

The latest branded product? Pretty much that South Park episode with Lucas & Spielberg raping Indiana Jones, and the audiences of that dreadful UFO+Indy movie. Except now, it’s Jar Jar Abrams, Kennedy, Mickey Mouse, and Johnson taking their turns violating Luke Skywalker, and the nerdly audiences of these three beautifully filmed– but contemptuous– violations of the SW universe & fandom.

There’s a lot of puzzled, offended, angry, and turned-off fans out there right now. And it hurt 2017 ticket-sales, toy & collectible sales, DVD & BluRay and all the knock-on money expected from big tentpole movies like this.

Murdering Movie Franchises is FUN!

This feels like part revenge for #GamerGate; and the industry flipping the bird at the public for slumping ticket-sales for recent Hollywood rubbish; and the spoil-it-all ill-will of progressives towards anything they didn’t make, and of which they disapprove. Take something good, kill it & skin it, and wear the carcass while demanding respect for the new thing as if it’s still the old thing. Then, mock the fans, and drink their tears. Ha ha ha.

Clearly the next movies must be about hunting down each & every surviving character.. Chewie, R2D2, C-3PO, Nien Nunb, and Lando Calrissian in the retirement home for space-rascals, and killing them. Then, dancing on the grave of old Star Wars.

Deeper Stuff Is Important, Too

The nihilist meta-narrative that there is no good or evil, nothing worth living & dying for, no unifying spiritual force above & beyond appearances— so we can just all live in John Lennon’s craptastic revolutionary songImagine’? What a horrible dead life that would be, of competing chaotic forces wrecking everything & each other in a race to mutual bored destruction. This new Star Wars is a paean of praise to that “Eff It ALL”  mentality.

Embrace the suckitude. Gray on gray on gray. Colourless and lifeless is the new awesome. Whatever. Shrugs all ’round.

The original movies were exciting & inspiring BECAUSE each person & their decisions mattered, made a difference. The protagonists were willing to live and die to help others, to hope and love and act in the face of apparently insurmountable tyranny. Leaving aside fanboyism and online insta-opinionated word-wars, it’s those deeply human elements that attracted us original kids in 1977.. a new take on movies, heroes & baddies, and interesting stories, remade with amazing effects and things we hadn’t seen before.

Of course they weren’t perfect. Of course they don’t make for a good religion or life. Of course you want to punch some fans in the nose and tell them to get a life and a religion.. but using a movie to do that is a pretty arrogant and dumb way to do it– and it’s bad business, no matter how many fart-sniffing film critics you make smirk with such work.

Nope. This original Star Wars fan is done. Not one more penny. Down with the Disney dystopia, and this disastrous train-wreck of a film franchise. ~

Thus saith,

Teh Binks





One thought on “Death By A Thousand Deaths

  1. Thanks, Mr. Binks. The previous Star Wars excelled so in its suckation that I didn’t even consider investing a moment in this one. #Hollyweirdos seem to be utterly deficient in storytelling abilities. Ho hum. Another meaningless, colourless, unheroic propaganda piece.

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